Easy Way Out, Hard Way In
by Gideon's Dreamer
Summary: What happens when Duo's 'family' decides that they don't like his preferred lifestyle? He takes the easy way out....or at least, he tries....
1. So Long

Easy Way Out, Hard Way In  
  
Author's note: I've been a bit depressed lately. Dorm life wasn't exactly what I had been expecting. I came up with this 2 days ago, so I thought that I'd post it. Unlike the other stories I'm writing, I'm not sure if this will have a good ending or not. So don't get your hopes up, and don't read if you don't want to be depressed.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it, never have, and never will. Sad, isn't it?  
  
8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8*  
  
Everyone seemed to be mad at him. Heero had locked himself in his room. Wufei didn't react at all to His usual antics, let alone yell at him. Trowa didn't even look at him. And worst of all, Quatre, the one he thought would truly understand, avoided him at all cost.  
  
Duo sat in the bathroom and grinned at his reflection. It was the same grin he gave to the others before he came into the bathroom. It didn't really matter if they saw it or not. It would be the last one they'd ever see on him.  
  
It hurt. It hurt too damned much. They had rejected him. The were the closest thing to family he had , and when he finally decided to tell them, they rejected him. And what was worse, he couldn't see why. It wasn't like he had proclaimed his love to any one or them. He knew better than that. He knew that Heero and Wufei were and item, and Quatre and Trowa were together. So why was it that he was rejected? Was it that they were afraid he'd rock the boat?  
  
He gave a short back of laughter, humorless, yet loud. He had always known that they didn't like him. Heero would only glare at him and threaten to kill him. Wufei liked to yell at him and threaten his life also. Trowa never said anything to him except to tell him to shut up. And Quatre, he was nice, but there was always a look of worry in his eyes, showing his fear of the next prank Duo would pull. And still, Duo believed that they were the closest things to family he had. Why would he think that? They did nothing but tolerate him.  
  
Duo took another swig of his vodka. Unfortunately, he had already drunk enough of it, so he lost his balance as he threw his head back for the swig. He toppled over onto the floor and hit his head rather hard on the toilet, though not hard enough to pass out. Duo noticed that in his fall, his vodka fell to the floor with a crash. He grunted at his misfortune, but shrugged and reached for another bottle he had brought into the bathroom. Again, in his bout of bad luck, he kicked a bloody knife under the door and into the hall way.  
  
He grunted again and tried to unlock the door to grab the knife before anyone could see it, but for some reason, he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Finally, he gave up and slumped against the door. He was too tired to do anything anyway. He glanced around to locate his bottle and noticed that he had managed to get blood all over the bathroom. He really should have stayed in the tub, but the alcohol had numbed the pain, so he had forgotten about his wrists.  
  
Duo shrugged. He didn't really feel up to cleaning up after himself anyway. He'd let THEM clean it up later. Those Shit heads..  
  
Duo's musing was cut short as someone banged on the door.  
  
"Maxwell! What's going on in there? Is everything alright?" Wufei called from the other side of the door. Duo snorted.  
  
"What do you care, Chang? Go away and let me die in peace!" Duo said, his words slurred. There was a pause on the outside of the door and then Wufei started to frantically beat on the door.  
  
"Maxwell! What have you done?!? Open this door at once!" Wufei's voice was panicked. For some odd reason, Duo found it funny. Could it be that Wufei was actually worried about him? Nah.  
  
"I said, go away, Wufei. You don't need me, I don't need you, leave me be." Duo giggled almost insanely as Wufei pounded on the door. "You can't come in!" Duo sang in a sing-song voice.  
  
8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8*  
  
Wufei ran down the hall towards Heero's room. He needed some help, and Heero was definitely strong enough to help open the door. He banged on Heero's door, only to be greeted with silence. Wufei tried the door, but found it locked. He ran through his own room, through the bathroom and into Heero's room.  
  
The stoic boy turned and glared at Wufei, but he paid no attention to the glare as he explained about the broken glass he heard and the bloody knife he found in the hall. He told Heero about the drunken reply he got from Duo as he asked about the braided boy's condition. Heero's eyes grew wide as he assimilated the information: Duo was trying to kill himself.  
  
"I'll go and try to open that door, you go and find Trowa and Quatre. Maybe they can help." Heero said to Wufei, already making his way out the door and down the hall.  
  
Wufei nodded and raced down the hall toward Trowa's and Quatre's rooms. He couldn't help but think about the braided baka. Why in the world would that talkative, cheerful boy want to die? Sure, they all had threatened his life at some point, but he always laughed it off. Duo just didn't seem like the kind of boy to want to end his life so suddenly. What had changed? Wufei pushed aside his thoughts as he pounded on Trowa's door.  
  
8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8*  
  
Trowa was on the verge of sleep when the pounding started. He was annoyed as he opened the door, but the annoyance slipped away when he saw Wufei's face. Wufei was pale, as if he had seen a ghost. It scared him, he had never seen the Chinese man look anything other than together.  
  
Trowa paled also once he found out what was happening. He could hear Heero pounding on the bathroom door and yelling for Duo to open the door. Why? That's all Trowa could really think. The rest of his mind was almost a complete blank. He just stood there listening to Heero down the hall and staring at Wufei. It wasn't until Quatre practically crawled out of his room that Trowa snapped out of it.  
  
8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8*  
  
Quatre had woken with a start. Pain, there was so much pain that Quatre could hardly breath. Who could be in so much despair that it would wake him up from a deep and peaceful slumber? He closed his eyes to search out the source and was surprised to find that it was Duo.  
  
Duo? Why would Duo be in that much pain? He had never felt anything from his braided friend but happiness and guilt. Quatre had suspected that Duo was hiding something, and had gotten very good at hiding it, but he never suspected that it was pain like this. And why was it that it was only now that he was able to feel it? What could make him drop his guard so suddenly?  
  
Quatre's inner questions were cut short when a new, more powerful wave of pain flowed over him. He closed his eyes to search it out and was worried to find that this time, it came from Heero and Wufei. He never felt anything that strong from either of them. That thought worried him to no end.  
  
'What the heck is going on out there?' He thought to himself.  
  
The last straw was when he got a whiff of Trowa's worry, too. Quatre crawled out of bed, clutching his chest. He was in too much pain to even stand. He crawled to the door and opened it, heaving himself out into the hall. He was greeted with Trowa's pale face. Scared now, Quatre asked what had happened. He became frightened when Trowa explained.  
  
As Trowa helped Quatre up, Wufei ran down the hall towards Heero. Quatre watched as Heero and Wufei began slamming into the door, hoping to break it down.  
  
"He's leaning on the door." Wufei exclaimed, slamming his shoulder into the door. Heero grunted and tried to plead with Duo again.  
  
"Duo! Stop leaning on the door and let us in!" They got no response from the normally mouthy boy.  
  
Trowa half dragged, half carried Quatre down the hall. Once he was sure Quatre was fin leaning against the opposite wall, he went to help to break open the door. With the three of them trying, the thick heavy oak door finally came off it's hinges. With one big pull, the door was out and laying on the opposite wall. The 3 of them looked around the bathroom and gasped.  
  
Blood was everywhere. It coated the sink and bathtub. There were hand prints of blood on almost all the walls and across the mirror. The toilet had red on the outside of it as well as the inside of it. There was bloody glass all over the floor, some soaked in puddles of blood.  
  
Over to the side lay Duo, unconscious. He was deathly pale from blood loss. In his hands he clutched a bottle of vodka. There was a large gash across his forehead. His arms were the scariest things, though. On both his left and right arms, there were large, deep gashes. It let everyone know that it wasn't a half thought out plan. He really meant to die.  
  
Quatre passed out. 


	2. Get Out

Duo woke up, and wished that he hadn't. The bright light that hung over his head hurt.  
  
"Gah! What wattage is that? 50 thousand?" He complained weakly.  
  
"You're awake," Heero stated, walking into Duo's view point. "Good." He turned around walked away.  
  
Duo heard a door open and close, and all was quiet. Well, not exactly quiet. Dimly, Duo noticed beeping noises. He propped himself up, and again, wished he hadn't. He looked down at his arms and noticed that both of them were bandaged tightly. Puzzled, he began to unwrap one of his bandages. He was surprised to see that his arm was slashed in many places, most of them being stitched up. He looked around and saw that he was in a hospital room.  
  
"What in the world.?" Duo began, before memories of the night before came flooding back.  
  
He wanted to belong in the group of guys he had considered family, and with their rejection, the pain became unbearable. He had gone to drink the pain away, and when he came back home, everyone had refused to talk to him. That had hurt even more, so he gave a silent farewell and locked himself in a bathroom.  
  
He stood in the bathroom for at least 10 minutes, trying to figure out why he had locked himself in. It wasn't until he cut his finger on the razor someone left on the sink that he realized what he wanted to do. He left the bathroom and went into his room to grab his favorite knife and 3 more bottles of his favorite drink. Calmly he filled the bathtub with hot water, stepped into it, and slashed his wrists. For good measure, he made a few more slashes across his arms. He opened his first bottle of vodka and awaited death. Things became fuzzy after that.  
  
"So why is it that I'm not dead yet?" Duo wondered aloud.  
  
"So you really meant to die?" Wufei said from the doorway. Duo looked at Wufei and gaped.  
  
8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* To say the least, Wufei was tired. Duo had been out for 3 days, and Wufei had been awake for most of the time. Every time he tried to go to sleep, his dreams were haunted with the scene he saw in the bathroom. Twice he woke up, almost screaming. He just couldn't understand why Duo would want to kill himself, so he thought that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't wanted to. He had come up with several explanations for that bloody scene, Only one really made sense, though: Maybe Duo had gotten so drunk that he didn't understand that knives were sharp.. Yeah, right.  
  
He knew that he looked terrible when he walked into Duo's hospital room. He felt like it. He felt even worse when he heard Duo's weak mutter. So he really had meant to kill himself?  
  
"So you really meant to die?" he said the moment he got over his shock.  
  
He watched as Duo looked up sharply at him and gaped. Then, just as quickly Duo turned away from him, avoiding eye contact. With a big smile, Duo turned back to Wufei.  
  
"Hey Wu-man, How's it going? Are the people here trying to make people blind with the high wattage bulbs? Man! You look like you tried to sleep in the garbage compactor. What's with Heero, dude? He just walked on out. Did you stick something up his butt besides your stick? How --"  
  
Wufei cut him off. He knew that Duo was trying to postpone any serious talk, but Wufei needed some answers.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why what, Fei-Fei?" Duo asked with a big grin.  
  
"You know what I'm asking. Do not try to fake ignorance. Why did you try to kill yourself, Duo?"  
  
Almost immediately, the smile was wiped off of Duo's face. In place of a grin, there was an emotionless look. It unnerved Wufei.  
  
"Duo? You've decided to call me Duo now? No Maxwell? No baka? Two years, Wufei, Two years and this is the first time that you've called me by my first name. As a matter of fact, I do believe this is the first time you've actually spoken to me like I'm a civilized human being. I guess that I just have to suffer a little bit of pain and shed a few drops of blood in order to make you treat me like I'm a worth while person."  
  
Shocked, Wufei stared at the fuming person in front of him.  
  
"So you only did this to get our attention, Maxwell?" Wufei asked.  
  
A murderous glint appeared in Duo's eyes and a grim smile slid onto his face.  
  
"Get out, Wufei. Just get out. It's obvious that you don't know me at all. Don't bother me anymore. Leave! Get out!" With each sentence, Duo's voice got louder and louder. Surprised, Wufei backed out of the room and closed the door once he passed the threshold.  
  
Behind Wufei stood Trowa and Quatre. Trowa was practically holding up the blonde Arabian. The poor boy was gasping for breath and clutching at his chest. Eyes wide, he looked up at the Chinese boy.  
  
"So much pain.. What did you say to him, Wufei? What happened in there?"  
  
Wufei stared at Quatre, mouth opening and closing, like a fish out of water. For the first time in a long time, Wufei was at a lost for words. He had no idea what had happened, nor, for that matter, why it had happened. Whatever that was in the room, was completely out of his league. 


	3. Freak

Easy Way Out, Hard Way In

Chapter 3: Freak 

Disclaimer: I own nothing, at all. So don't even bother.

Author's note: 

I'd like to thank Diane for her wonderful reviews that she left for me. They were very constructive and helpful, not only story-wise, but also with the fact that you gave me the courage to keep writing. You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you!

ON TO The STORY!!

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"Freak!"

Duo ducked and cringed as a plate smashed into the wall behind him.

"You sick freak!"

Duo ducked once again, just barely missing the crystal vase aimed for his head.

"…Please…Calm down…"

"Calm down? You want me to calm down? What did you expect to happen, Duo? That you'd tell me and everything would be alright? That I'd just shrug my shoulders and we'd go on to the way things were? It's not going to happen. It's not going quite the way you planned it, ne, Duo?"

Another plate through the air, but Duo was too busy being shocked at the statement to pay attention to it. The plate hit him in the head, breaking on impact. Blood started to pour into his eyes from the gash on his forehead. He sank down to the floor, staring into space. He was in pain, but not because of the pain from his head. It was his heart breaking that was causing him pain.

"B-but…"

"But what, Duo, dear?" He cringed at the harsh and mocking laugh.

"H-how could you be so-- so mean? So cruel? I thought we… I trusted you enough to tell the truth. I bared my deepest, darkest secret to you, thinking that we needed no lies between us."

"Trust has nothing to do with it, Duo. You're sick! Just the thought of your stupid little secret sickens me. You're not normal."

"What about-- about…Us…?"

"What _about_ us? As far as I'm concerned, there is no more us. You forfeited that when you let out that little secret. Get out, Duo, I can't stand to look at you anymore."

Duo rose from the floor slowly. He wiped the blood from his face and grinned, keeping his head up.

"Ok, fine. It's not like I need you anyway." He tried not to cringe again at the harsh laughter that filled the room.

"Oh, Duo. You need me, believe me, I can tell. It is I that don't need _you_. I don't even _want_ you."

Duo tried his best to keep the grin from slipping off. He nodded and turned to leave. 

"Oh, and Duo? If I were you, I wouldn't go blabbing your little secret all over the place. Especially not those friends of yours you put so much stock into. I'm not the only one who'd consider you as a freak."

It was at this statement that Duo actually had a real grin on his face. His friends…His family. He trusted them with his life, surely they could understand him.

"Thanks for reminding me of my family," he said, "Now I _know_ I don't need you anymore."

"Silly boy. Haven't you noticed _anything_? You don't have any real friends. They'll turn on you the first chance they get. "

"You're wrong! I'll prove it to you. You're wrong!"

"Believe what you want, Duo. You'll see in the end…"

"You're wrong!"

8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8*

Duo woke up, tears running down his face. He stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out where he was. He closed his eyes as the beeping of the machines reached his ears, making him remember. 

That was no dream. Maybe that's why it hurt so much to make him cry. It was because it had been real. The guys hadn't even noticed the cut on his head when he came back. No one had bothered to even look at him. What had giving him the gall to say anything then? Maybe it had just been the fact that he was still hurting inside.

Duo propped himself up slightly in the bed to get a better look around the room. It was completely empty. The walls were white and bare. There were no flowers or cards sitting on his night stand. And most importantly, there wasn't anyone in the room waiting for him to wake up. 

He laid back down on the bed, trying his best to keep any more tears from escaping him. He lifted one of his arms and started to examine one of his stitched up gashes. No matter how hard he tried to stop them, the tears flowed anyway.

"I guess you were right, Hilde. I have no friends…" He whispered out loud.

He dropped his arm back onto the bed, and with a sigh, he closed his eyes to try and get some more sleep.

8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8* 8*

Heero was pacing out in the hall. He couldn't seem to calm himself down, which was unusual for him. Another thing that was unusual was his lack of comprehension. No matter how much he went through the facts, he just couldn't understand Duo's willingness to die. Heero shook his head and turned to punch the wall for the umpteenth time. 

Quatre watched him with wide eyes. He had been watching the Japanese pilot for most of the day, and when it seemed that Heero was getting too irritable, he suggested that the angry boy leave Duo's room. Heero had been pacing and punching walls all day, and Quatre had been worried that the noise would wake up Duo, who was finally peacefully asleep.

"Heero, you need to calm down. You're not helping anyone by doing this." Quatre stated quietly once again.

Surprisingly, Heero did stop. He turned to Quatre and nodded.

"Hn. I'll go check on Duo."

Without waiting for a response, Heero headed for Duo's room. He looked through the window and saw that Duo was awake, but he refrained from going in. He noted the tears on Duo's face as the braided boy looked around the room. Heero found it odd, because he had never seen tears on this boy's face.

He opened the door just a crack when he saw Duo lay back down and examine his arm. He almost felt guilty for spying on Duo, but it seemed like the only way to find out some kind of information.

Over the beeping noises of the machines around the room, Heero was just barely able to hear the whispered words come out of Duo's mouth. And with those words, an unexplainable rage surged through Heero. He was going to get some answers soon, and if he didn't like the answers, there was going to be hell to pay.

'Hilde, you better hope you had nothing to do with this,' Heero thought, 'Or I'll kill you…'


	4. You never listen

Heeeeheee! I got it out! I got the next chapter out! Aren't you happy?!?!? Review! Now! Go! ....Wait! You gotta read it first. Do that!  
  
*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*  
  
Hilde was jolted from her slumber by someone banging on her door. She groaned and looked over at her bedside clock. It was 8 in the morning. It was also a Saturday. Everyone who knew her, knew that she liked to sleep very late on Saturday, so who the hell was this at her door?  
  
Grumbling, she groggily rolled out of her bed. Whoever the jackass was pounded on her door harder. To her, it sounded like the guy was slamming himself into the door. She grunted and brought her hand to her head, wondering why her head pounding. As she stumbled across her apartment, she remembered the fact that she had had a bad couple of nights and she used the use of alcohol to get her through the nights. Again, the door was brutally abused.  
  
"I'm coming! I'm coming! Quit banging on the door." Her shouting gave her a headache. She decided then that once she found out who this guy was, she was going to get rid of him and then crawl back under the covers.  
  
When she finally reached the door, all she had to do was unlock the door before she was slammed against the wall across from the door. Her eyes widened when she realized that she was face to face with a very pissed off looking Heero Yuy, who had one of his hands firmly wrapped around her neck. He slammed her against the wall once more.  
  
"What did you say to him, Hilde?"  
  
Him? Him who?  
  
She would have liked to say this to Heero, but she couldn't get enough air to even breathe, let alone speak. She managed a cough. Heero squeezed her neck even more and slammed her against the wall again.  
  
"Well? Answer me, god damn it! What did you say to Duo?"  
  
Duo?  
  
Hilde's eyes widened when she realized that Heero was pissed and not completely coherent. He was going to hold her there until she answered his questions, but he didn't seem to get the fact that she couldn't breathe to answer. Her vision was getting hazy around the edges. She knew she was going to pass out. She was going to die.  
  
"Heero! Calm down and take a step away from Hilde. She can't answer you if she can't breathe. You're crushing her wind pipe."  
  
Hilde hadn't noticed the small blonde behind the furious one holding her. She didn't know the boy very well, but she was suddenly glad he was here.  
  
Heero glared at Hilde defiantly, his eyes darkening. It was obvious that he didn't want to let her go, but when Quatre took a step forward, Heero reluctantly let go. Hilde crumbled to the floor, taking deep breaths gratefully. Still panting, she looked at Quatre and thanked him. Quatre silently stared at Hilde for a short while, neither smiling nor moving. Finally, he reached down and helped pick the girl up from the floor.  
  
"Don't thank me yet, Hilde. I want answers also and I only came to ensure that we got them."  
  
Hilde paled at Quatre's blunt words. Duo had spoken a lot about these guys he lived with, and Quatre was always described as the sweet and polite one..  
  
..Wait a minute! What did she do to Duo!? What the hell happened to Duo to make these two boys pissed? She voiced her inner questions.  
  
Quickly, the boys explained what happened, Quatre doing most of the talking, Heero doing most of the glaring. When they came to the part when Heero heard Duo's statement, Hilde gasped.  
  
"Well? Answer our questions, Hilde." Quatre requested.  
  
"Well...fuck."  
  
*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*  
  
Duo woke up once more. It seemed that he was still low on blood or maybe they were just keeping him drugged, because although he was a lazy person, he never slept that much.  
  
"Duo."  
  
Startled, Duo looked towards the door and was surprised to see Trowa leaning against it. Dimly, he wondered how long the silent one had been standing there and wondered why wasn't Quatre there attached to his hip. His thoughts were cut short.  
  
"Duo."  
  
Duo smiled, but he didn't need a mirror to tell him that it was a very weak one.  
  
"Hey Tro-man! How's it hanging? Where's the love of your life? And why haven't you guys visited me?"  
  
"Quatre can't come to visit you."  
  
"He can't? Why not?"  
  
"You've been hurting him. You've been acting selfish and you haven't thought about us or your action's consequences. Quatre hasn't been able to sleep, eat, or even think straight. He's sick and you're the one who's caused him this grief. Stop being so selfish and tell us what's bothering you so we can fix it."  
  
Duo's purple eyes darkened to black. He was pissed.  
  
"Well Trowa, it's nice to know that you do know how to talk. I can't believe you just waltzed in here and accused me of being selfish. Have you ever noticed the fact that the only time you ever talk to me is to yell at me? Or fuss at me? Or to tell me to shut up? Quatre likes to tell us that you're a great listener. Have you ever even tried to listen to me? You ask me to tell you what's bothering me, but I've been telling you for months. You just haven't wanted to listen. I can't stand you people! You tell me to shut up and leave, but when I try to leave, you save me and ask me what's wrong. What the fuck do you people want from me? Go away! Get out! Fuckin' leave me alone!"  
  
When Trowa didn't move, Duo reached for the nearest thing, which happened to be a tray of cold food, and he threw it at Trowa with precision. Trowa, surprised, didn't move and the food landed on him, leaving him in a complete mess.  
  
"Are you completely clueless? I said leave! Get the fuck out of here!"  
  
Trowa saw Duo reach for something else and he quickly ducked out of the room. Taking a deep breath, he leaned against the door and shook his head. Wufei had told them all about Duo's outburst against Wufei, but Trowa had just thought that Wufei had been exaggerating. Who knew that Duo was so passionate?  
  
Trowa looked up as Wufei, Heero, and Quatre approached him. Heero had his arm wrapped around Quatre's waist, holding the blond up as he panted for air, pale as ever. The boys glanced at Duo's door before looking at Trowa's shirt. If it wasn't for the fact that the situation was serious, Wufei would have smiled. Still panting, Quatre spoke up.  
  
"We need to leave Duo alone. We have some very important things to discuss. Heero and I just came from Hilde's and she had some very interesting information for us."  
  
"Hilde?" Wufei asked. "What does she have to do with any of this?"  
  
"This, Wufei, is what we have to talk about."  
  
Silently, the boys walked down the hall towards the exit. They would be discussing things for quite a while. 


End file.
